Forgive
by deus ex caeli
Summary: My take on the ending of Death Note. Raito and L have an interesting conversation.. SPOILERS for the end of the series! [RaitoL pairing]


_So you think you've won, huh?_

Focus, focus. That's all he needed to do. But the strength would not return to him. He reached a quivering hand towards that infuriating specter, teeth clenched, eyes tainted the reddest of reds from madness and hysteria. It was only him and his fallen, pathetic self now; the others in the room had ceased to exist.

"You knew," he sputtered, precious life draining from him with each and every passing moment. Every damned moment, every last moment that he was forced to spend with _him_. "You knew.. this would happen.. clever, clever bastard.."

The specter said nothing. He merely blinked, massaged one bare foot over the other, and stared into the eyes of a murderer.

"He would piece it together.. perhaps I underestimated him. All my precautions, all my dreams and ideals.. for this? I was.. going to make the world better.. not for me, but for everyone.."

Still the specter chose silence over a response, though it wasn't likely he could speak even if he wanted to, anyway. Which he probably didn't. Did this ghost possess a will of its own? After all, it looked so much like him.

Again, the murderer spoke into the blackness that threatened to engulf them both, "But I should.. let you in on something, my dearest rival.. my greatest opponent."

A shudder, a flash of light, a whirl of emotions, dreams, and words. Within seconds, they too were lost to the shadows.

_How utterly cliché,_ he drolled inwardly. _Everything before my eyes. Everything I gained, and everything I lost._

"I'm no coward. And I.. won't die."

This sparked exactly what he wanted: a reaction. The specter's ever wary eyes widened. Confusion, and perhaps fear, flickered inside their murky onyx depths. They were eerily similar to the shadows.

"My body might be gone.. but I.. Kira will not. Everything Kira is, was, and would be. Everything Kira _will_ be. It will persist through my death."

He paused to laugh. It would've been more hearty and maniacal if his wavering health could spare it. Pity it could not.

"Kira will always be in the hearts of his followers. He will always be in their thoughts. It will be doubt, and it will be great promise. He is an angel of salvation.."

Since when had he demoted himself? The blood loss was making him delusional, he surmised. How had he even lasted this long, anyway? Best not to dwell on that when time was so crucial.

He corrected his mistake, "He is God, and God cannot be slain. Not truly. Kira has made a mark on _history_, L! And no one can erase that mark! Not a gun.. not you, nor anyone else.. not even..!"

Falling fast, no surrender, not yet!

_N-near.. damn you._

"Kira is.. _I_ am immortal, dammit! I'll be replaced! I can't lose! Ha.. hahahaha!"

The shock faded from the specter's eyes. Lanky hands shifted from their seemingly permanent location in stuffy pockets, and he slumped further forward. Slowly, but assuredly, he trudged ahead, towards his prey..

He gasped, the breath stolen from him before he could think, or act. He retreated at breakneck pace - at least for a critically injured person, why wasn't he dead yet? - backed against an imaginary wall in the darkness.

"You stay away from me! Don't touch me! You're n-not worthy to lay hands upon God!!"

The specter did as he commanded, and halted above him, inches from contact with a truly divine being.

There was nowhere to run.. err, nowhere to slide, that is. He struggled to maintain at least a sitting position, to salvage some of his dignity collapsing painfully on his side instead. Moaning, he cursed his predicament.

And then, much to his surprise, he began to cry.

"It was going to be my world! My world! And you ruined it! That brat ruined it all! Why couldn't you leave me be and concede defeat? You rose from the grave, you stupid ghost! My plans, all of them! Bastard! Bastard!"

He curled in upon himself and wept, wailed, as loudly as any infant. What was left of his heart poured upon the inky black beneath him, and spread in all directions. Reality sunk in and punched him in his snide, cocky face.

"No! Noooo! It's a nightmare, it's not real! Misa-chan! Takada-chan! Why won't you help me? Why won't anyone save me? Please!"

Something about this made the specter smile. He saw the tears. He saw the grief, and pain, and utter emotion that had been imprisoned for so long by that wretched notebook. But now, that was all behind him. It was time to start something new.

It was time to forgive.

He cried, and cried, and cried. It was so ridiculously out of character, so unbelievable for the mass murderer who had terrorized (or salavaged, depending on your point of view) the world, but he did it regardless, because it didn't matter, it was all over, _game_ over, an easy victory, and for someone half his height! It was almost.. laughable how it had turned out in the very end.

But he didn't laugh. He couldn't laugh anymore.

The specter remained stiff until the sobbing had quieted to a shaky murmur. It was the mantra that had kept him going for all of this time, so ingrained in his memory that it was only natural that at this point it came to mind and to mouth so strongly.

"I am Kira-sama. I am going to be God of the new world. Those who oppose God are evil. I will eradicate them. Because I.. am Just -

Two pale, icy fingers sealed his mouth, and the fated final word was muffled behind them. Now, it was his turn to be surprised. The specter spoke, and yet did not. He couldn't have.

_No."_

The tears were frozen on his cheeks, and now, just like the two of them, only the two of them, frozen in time.

"L..?"

_"Light-kun."_

"What the hell do you think you're -

Interrupted again; damn that L!

A pair of lips replaced the pair of fingers, and invaded sacred territory. He initially thrashed in protest, but was calmed by equally bony arms sliding around him. So much so, that he melted into the embrace, and accepted it. So much so, that he..

_You haven't won. I guess it turns out that you're as naive and stupid as everyone else out there. How unfortunate. I was hoping for better._

Well, ghosts certainly won't supposed to do _that_.

Focus, focus. That's all he needed to do. But the strength would not return to him. Just one word.

"W-why?" he whispered, suspended in the grasp of the man he hated more than anyone or anything in the world. Finally, his boundless existence was beginning to fade. The smile grew bigger.

_"Because, Light-kun."_

He waited, and.. no answer. He sighed heavily. Of course he would play games at a time like this, it was his way.

"Because _why?_"

_"Because you are Ryuga's friend. Light-kun is Ryuga's friend. And Kira is dead."_

He grinned. Somehow, he found humor in words that were so inevitably bleak.

_He still doesn't want to believe it. Not even when the truth is being dangled right in front of him. But so long as there is evil, there will be Kira. Kira lives on.. now and forever. Now, I concede._

"Then let's be together, as Light-kun and Ryuga-kun. You still owe me another tennis match! What do you say?"

_"Yes, Light-kun. We should hurry. It's getting dark."_

"Yes," he could feel the terrifying sensation of unconsciousness approaching. Terrifying, as it was for the very last time. "Yes, it is.."

_It's your victory, L._

"L."

_"Yes, Light-kun?"_

"Let's go home."

_"As you wish, Light-kun.."_

Kira closed his eyes, and died.

And so it was that they returned to nothingness, exactly as the shinigami predicted.

After all, they were the true winners in the end.. weren't they?


End file.
